Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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