if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
