So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
