I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
