I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
