my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
