sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize