At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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