North Korea, Best Korea!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
