How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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