And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
