She's JV to your varsity
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
