There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
