Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Im part way to drunk.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
