I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This is my gift to your gina
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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