I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
