Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
