Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize