Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
