He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
