Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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