and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
