I want to have your abortion
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
