we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
