Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
