im about as happy as oj after his trial
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
