I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
