This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
