Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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