I bet he comes in French.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
