you will always have a special place in my vag
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A+ Viking dick
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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