My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
