I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
