These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
