that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
