I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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