My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just google imaged poop.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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