Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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