Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
