if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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