You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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