You can't motorboat a personality
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Threesome in a minivan. New low
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
