Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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