you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
