Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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