I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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