hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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