I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
