ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
