google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize