It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
