what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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