Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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