My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
