i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
