Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your thong is hanging out like whoa
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize